Thousand Oaks is just south of Simi Valley and just east of Oxnard in California. It is definitely more of an upper-scale part of the Los Angeles area. Perfectly groomed lawns line each neighborhood street, while shiny new BMWs and Mercedes rest in the sun-washed carports, though not today. Today is Black Friday so those cars are en route to all places of shopping.
Since Thanksgiving always falls on Thursday, the next day (Friday) signifies the beginning of Christmas time. This day was first dubbed Black Friday in 1966 by the Philadelphia police department, describing how traffic greatly increased on the day after Thanksgiving. Every Black Friday since 2003 has been the busiest recorded shopping day of the year. On this fateful day it is not uncommon for many businesses to open at 4 a.m. and remain open until 11 p.m.
The whole family had gotten together for Thanksgiving but that was over and forgotten. Now it was time for Christmas shopping so we headed to the closest mall. I was less than enthusiastic about it to say the least. My dad threw me the keys as he, my mom, and my brother climbed into the car. We traded the calm surface streets for a whirl wind of high-speed 101 freeway traffic. The frenzy slowed as we approached the mall, so much in fact that the last mile took nearly 15 minutes.
The Oaks mall of Thousand Oaks was like a zoo, a petting zoo for one could not move without brushing up on someone else. The gridlock continued but grew exponentially when we actually hit the mall parking lot. I had never seen such congestion in a parking lot before in my life. Many cars zipped to and fro and at the same time many cars crept along. When a space would open up at least three cars would race to it. One driver sent his little kid over to stand in the spot another driver was just backing out of across the lot.
“There’s a spot,” my brother said, but before he was done the spot had been filled.
“Go in the parking garage,” my mom said.
“Try on the other side,” my dad said. Tempers were heating up as the search for a parking spot went on. People raged, horns honked, and the sheer aggression of almost every driver reminded me of starving hyenas. About 40 minutes later I thought of the kid who ran through traffic to reserve a spot and sent my brother to stand on the base of a towering cemented light post. It was his duty to use his body to prevent any car but ours from pulling into the vacant spot. Ten minutes later we were parked. It’s times like these that remind me of how the smallest things cause the greatest joy in life.
To my amazement the inside was even busier than the parking lot. Anywhere a person could possible be, was one. Big people, small people, people of every color and age shopped in every store. It was cutthroat but Americans love their discounts. I had heard rumors that people have actually been killed on past Black Fridays but a little research revealed that only one Wal-Mart employee had been killed. He was trampled to death in 2008 in Valley Springs, New York by shoppers who said were too cold to wait any longer. Though he was the recorded death, there has been an elderly woman and pregnant woman rushed to the hospital on past Black Fridays.
Owned and managed by Macerich, the Oaks Mall is 1,300,000-square-foot and was originally built in 1978. Macerich is a combination of the first names of Mace Siegel and Richard Cohen, owners of regional and community shopping centers in the United States, with 95 malls in 19 states. The Oaks’ part indoor and part outdoor areas hold 180 stores. The anchors of the mall are Macy’s, Nordstrom’s, J C Penny and Muvico Theaters. We passed through Nordstrom’s into the main mall area. A Christmas theme had taken over the inside of the mall like a cancer. Huge wreaths with ornaments hung from the ceiling and a 40 foot tall Christmas tree towered in the center of the mall. Snowmen and big fake snowflakes speckled the walls and ceiling. The big fat fake Santa Claus sat on his red velvet throne, ho ho hoing little kids’ dreams of their perfect gift to life all day long. For some children this is the day they learn Santa isn’t real, other aren’t so lucky.
The mall is two stories. Debora, behind the customer service desk said that if one walked down and back on both floors it was the equivalent of one mile. To do that today would have taken the better part of a lifetime. My brother went into Lucky Brand Jeans and got a pair.
“How much did you pay for those?” I asked.
“Seventy dollar,” he said. I felt a sudden wash of nausea in my core.
We walked and walked and then we walked some more. A man played live classical piano on a baby grand. I said it sounds nice, he smiled and nodded.
We followed my mom into a Williams-Sonoma store. This store specializes in high-end kitchenware as well as furniture, linens, specialty food and gift items. I grabbed a normal kitchen funnel from the shelf and gasped when I saw its $8 price tag.
“Hey dad, how much do you think this is?” I asked.
“Ten bucks,” he said rolling his eyes.
“Yea, eight dollars American. It’d cost two bucks at Kmart,” I said.
“I think it’s safe to assume the majority of prices in this mall will be increased by about 600%,” he said.
“That’s insane,” I said with a laugh.
“I agree but people love things,” he said the word “things” like it disgusted him, I laughed again.
Even the kiosks were endless. One sold flat irons, the next sold Rosetta Stone software, the next acne medication. All of the kiosk workers were sharply dressed with corresponding hairdos and glistening white teeth. They were all so agreeable and quick it was literally impossible for many people not to buy what they were selling.
“Excuse me, sir,” a cheerful, middle-eastern accented voice asked. “May I ask you a question?”
“Sure, but I promise you I’m not going to buy anything,” I said.
“Perfect!” he said with a big smile. “How do you care for your nails?” he asked. It took me a moment to register he was really asking me this question.
“I bite ‘em,” I said with a grin.
“Perfect! May I see your thumb, sir?” he asked. I presented my right thumb and when he grabbed my hand I noticed the softness of his. He rubbed a little whit box over my thumb nail for about five seconds while I struggled to contain my laughter. “Well, what do you think?” he asked with an expression that indicated he knew he had done a fantastic job.
“I think it’s shinier,” I said.
“Perfect! You are right, sir. The pure cotton brings out the natural shine.” That was the last straw; I could contain my laughter no longer. I was worried I might offend him but much to my relief, he was laughing too. I told him thanks, we shook hands and I was on my way.
While I was getting my thumb shined I became separated from my family. Panic set in for one second, but when I realized everything was going to be just fine I looked for a place to sit. A big soft chair opened up and I practically dove for it. Across from me sat an extremely attractive brunette. I mouthed “hi” to her and she did the same. However, a moment later some white guy with spiky blond hair took her by the hand and led her away. Just as they were being swallowed by the crowd she looked over her shoulder at me. I shot her a wink which produced the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen. Maybe shopping wasn’t as dreadful as I first thought but to find my family in this confusion would be to find a needle in a stack of vibrating needles so I decided to wait at the car instead. They had to come out eventually, or so I thought.
I sat on the spare tire of the car in the sun.
“Hey, buddy, ya leavin’?” a short man in a blue Mazda asked.
“No, sorry, sir.” I said. Every 15 seconds or so, a passenger or driver would ask me if I was leaving. I had enough of this monotony and moved to the corner of the building in the shade by a bush. Tiny brown birds were ravaging two crackers in the dirt when three more swooped down. It seemed the Black Friday spirit was in the wildlife as well.
Many people walked by with multiple bags in their hands. Entire families, carrying as much as they could, lumbered by only to reenter the mall. One middle-aged woman walked by pushing a double stroller in which sat a toddler and infant. On her elbow hung and enormous black shiny purse and the other hand clung to two large Macy’s bags. She had her phone wedged between her ear and shoulder and as she passed I heard her say, “Well that credit card is maxed out!” followed by a most contagious laugh.
Over an hour later my family emerged from the mall. My brother was sucking down some kind of drink from white Styrofoam cup and carrying a matching to-go box.
“You guys seriously ate without me?” I asked.
“We tried to call you, but you didn’t answer,” my mother said.
“Here, you can have my left-over’s,” my brother said and handed me the box. I found one half-eaten piece of pizza. I took a bite and threw the rest to the birds from before. I was relieved to know there was 364 days until I had to do this all again.